time to relax

i'm sitting here at arrowhead bible camp, a beautiful camp in the beauty of wisconsin. we're here with the honduras team for some trip prep and just some time to connect with God as well. to say it has been amazing would be quite the understatement.

right now i am looking out a window (i'm taking a break from some women's conference prep) and i am just reminded of how great God is. there is a great big tree in front of me and while it was cloudy for awhile, as i looked at the tree i saw the sun come back. the green of the leaves became more vibrant and strong. and i'm just hit with the greatness of God -- He can create all of this and yet still, He knit me together so intricately and with such care.

just some thoughts...

finally...

finally...
*summer has come
*we have cable tv!
*we have internet
*i am updating my blog

i think that until the first three things happened i really couldn't get to number four. well i guess that having cable has nothing really to do with anything else, it's just an added bonus :)

i'm not even sure who reads my blog -- especially since it's been about two months since i last wrote anything. but as i sit here watching "so you think you can dance" on dvr :) i decided i would share this thought.

i was at valleyfair today (my second trip in one week). melissa and i always donate a trip to valleyfair for the auction and so we go there with four students. today the boys we took went off on their own for a bit and we got some good chill time. we found ourselves a bench and as we basked in the sunlight as it broke through the clouds i was a bit shocked at some of the sights that walked by us. and this was something that shocked me last week too when we brought the junior high kids: where are parents these days?

now let me explain myself. the clothing items that some of these kids had on were just ridiculous. the message some of these girls send with their outfits just makes me so sad. and i ask myself, "where are the parents?". clearly these 12 and 13 year old girls did not drive themselves to the mall and buy these outfits on their own. who is telling them it's okay to wear shorts that barely cover their underware, shirts that are two sizes too small and swimsuits that no one should ever wear? i just don't understand it. i just don't understand...

on a brighter note. during our down time from the boys today we also watched the little song and dance show they put on every year at valleyfair. during the show one of the guys came down and sang to me -- pretty much a dream come true ;) a great time. we totally had crushes on all of the guys in the show (there were three of them and they are probably about 20, maybe 21. totally inapprops.). all in all, a classic valleyfair day.

i know

i must say that i am a terrible blogger. i am very infrequent with my posting and then get "all up ons" when family members don't update their blogs yet i am doing nothing to keep my own blog current.

so here goes -- nothing fancy or intense, just a little update on life.

i am back in training for the half marathon we are running in may (may 30th if you want to put it on your calendars to come and watch. it's in burnsville). it's funny how my mental game has changed now that we are "in training". my five mile run on tuesday was hard -- or at least the last mile was hard. now this could be because my gym finds it necessary to keep the thermostat set so high that when people start to work out it gets to be about 89 degrees. if you know anything about me you know that i sweat. A LOT. so let's just say that lately i have been sweating up a storm. tuesday was just tough because i literally had sweat dripping off my arms and it was on my legs too -- i mean whose legs sweat? so nonetheless, the tuesday run was hard. but i think other factors are kicking in.

now that i am on a schedule i am finding a little pressure to get all these runs in. but what's the difference to how i've been running the last few months? i have been consistenly running about three times (if not more) a week and have alternated between 4 and 5 miles for each run. i think now i just know there is a goal and i want to improve my time from last time too so there is even a bigger goal. and maybe there is a little memory of those 13.1 miles in my mind and the fact that running for 2 1/2 hours straight can be tough...

well, with all that said i am off to run just a three mile today. shouldn't be too hard, plus i packed capris to run in today so hopefully those will keep me cooler than the pants did on tuesday.

sunshine, ice cream and best friends

what a week.

i think this year i have truly come to love my classroom during my prep hour. it is at this time during the day that the sun is shining directly into my room and as i sit at my desk and grade papers, or let's be honest, check email and sit on facebook, i just bask in the sunlight. and when i let myself stop and think about it, it truly is a glorious thing. to just feel the warmth of the sun. and it reminds me once again of God's great glory. of His great love for each of us.

i think because of the recent influx of sunny days i have also found myself craving ice cream just a bit more. how could i crave it any more than i usually do you ask? i don't even know if i can answer that question, but i do.

and then what is better than adding two of your favorites together -- ice cream and best friends. last night we went out for whit's birthday. yes, that's right, whitney has come home. we didn't think she was coming home until februrary 17th and then we got this email letting us know she had to skype with us on wednesday after school. well, we called her on skype and michael (her husband) answered. we were totally oblivious to everything and therefore didn't even question it. michael couldn't get the video to work for his skype -- a completely uncharacteristic michael trait, but once again, we fell for it. and then suddenly someone walked into melissa's room. we turned around, and there was whitney. we screamed, we jumped around, we hugged, we smiled, we relished in the moment.

well anyway, we went out for whit's birthday and then went back to the larson's for games and ice cream. it was just the best time as we talked, played catch phrase and ate ice cream. just sharing life together with friends -- new and old -- is such a blessing and one that i sometimes take for granted. but when those friends come back from across oceans and you suddenly get to sit in the same room as they are, you remember how special and precious these times can be.

this is delicious!

i know -- this is unprecedented -- two posts in one day...

i just thought i should share this. if you really know me you know that i am a pack rat. i save everything for absolutely no reason or purpose. in fact, just a few weeks ago while we were making whitney's christmas present i got out my "art drawer" and we found some real treasures in it. included in the art drawer was a little piece of paper towel that had a piece of scotch tape attached to it. written on this paper towel was "emily's, don't touch". where did this come from? well, when i was in college addie saved me a piece of her birthday cake and put this warning on the cake for all to know they were not to eat it -- it was being saved until i came home for the weekend. keep in mind, in may it will be four years since i graduated college. and i'll guarantee that this note was created during my earlier college years. but for some reason i have found it necessary to keep all these years.

well this pack rat nature carries over to emails. i had some time this afternoon on my hands and thought i should work through my inbox in my email. it was RIDICULOUS what i had not deleted and also the things i really had to MAKE myself delete. things like this should not be that hard. but nonetheless, i am a pack rat.

bonus points once again for the title...

everybody...

well, so much for updating more frequently than once a week -- at least it hasn't been too long since the last post.

gosh i just feel like things are going by so quickly these days -- life moves faster than i know what to do with sometimes. this isn't necessarily a bad thing but it does make getting all the things i plan to do in a day done.

the new semester started on tuesday and it's always and adjustment. i went from having 13 kids first hour to 25 (which is nice that number is down from 29). it's so weird how different my room looks though and of course the difference in noise level. i still love it though. i do love my job.

i think i've been reminded lately how much i love my friends. they are truly the best and i just don't knwo what i would do without them. today maria is subbing at school and at one point maria, melissa, kmac and i were all in the music room -- i mean that just doesn't happen every day. i love it.

and also -- not like it's hard -- but bonus points if you can guess the meaning behind the title of this blog.

what an ab workout

here's a first -- i'm updating my blog after only a few days. definitely hasn't happened before.

second -- i feel like i should again stress how awesome my sister date was on friday night. it's so fun because i sometimes feel like i have been waiting ever since i was 7 years old for my sisters to grow up. does that make sense? i guess when you are 6 1/2 years older than one sister and 9 years older than the other you always feel like the "old" one. which don't get me wrong, has been awesome. but at the same time i think i've always waited for the time when the three of us can hang out and really all enjoy it and just be sisters. and on friday night i thought, 'gosh, here we are, just hanging out. being sisters.' it was just really nice.

and now thirdly - the ab workout.
you may remember how joyful i was on the last post because i was smack dab in the middle of my surprise five day weekend. well the happiness did not last long after that post. i woke up on sunday morning feeling a bit sick but thought it was only because i was hungry -- i had eaten at panera the day before and kind of had the late lunch/early dinner deal so i didn't put too much to my sickness. on my way out of the house for church i didn't eat anything because i was running short on time and just figured i'd eat afterwards. well, i got to church and while we were singing found that suddenly this wave of sickness hit me. i sat down but soon found that wasn't even enough. i quickly went to the bathroom and nearly passed out. i thankfully did not throw up at this point but all that went through my mind at this point was how was i going to get home? i finally mustered up the courage to leave the bathroom -- looking extra stellar i might add since my face was ghostly white and my hair was matted to my face with sweat. i went back into the sanctuary, got my stuff and then promptly left. i made it home and proceeded to lay down on my bed. it took me a good thirty minutes to muster up the strength to just change clothes at this point. it was around this time that my "ab workout" began if you catch my drift. i then made my way downstairs to the couch where a bathroom would be even closer and found myself pretty much glued to the couch for the next two days. luckily my mom was nearby -- she came and took care of me for a little bit. and then when melissa and maria got home they were awesome -- i think melissa's quote was, "sorry that we keep just looking at you. it's like a car wreck -- you can't help but just stare at it."

yesterday was much better -- i didn't throw up at all but every time i stood up i thought i was going to die. my abs and back hurt so much from all my throwing up the day before that i wasn't quite sure i would ever stand up straight again. (update -- i'm feeling much better today, i think my posture will be fine). sidenote: i don't know if this is how everyone gets but my least favorite part about throwing up is not necessarily the actual process of it -- i mean don't get me wrong, i hate throwing up -- but i get this ridiculous naseous feeling for about an hour before actually throwing up. it's that feeling that i hate.

and so here i am back at school after my surprise five day weekend which turned out to be more like a three day weekend and two days of death.

it's cold outside

now for anyone who truly knows me they know i did not go into teaching for the vacations and days off and what have yous. i became a teacher because i love working with kids and i love seeing kids grow and develop and acquire new knowledge. i love to see what kids are like when they start school in september and then notice the awesome change that has happened when they leave in june. i love my job because each and every day i am given the opportunity to impact the lives of my students for the better. i have the chance to impact the people who will impact the generations to come. now that i've said that, i feel like i can talk about the last few days in my life.

the talk at school on monday, tuesday and wednesday was focused on one thing. a possible snow day. it had started snowing on monday while we were at school and the kids were hoping it would hold out and make the morning commute impossible and cancel school for tuesday. no soap there. tuesday everyone was slightly depressed that a snow day hadn't occurred and the focus turned to thursday. word on the street was it would be too cold for school. i quickly scoffed the idea of a "too cold day". i mean really, that hadn't happened since i was in like 8th grade and that was thanks to the old governor arnie carlson. i was completely convinced that we would not be seeing a day off from school at all. boy was i wrong :)

thursday morning i heard melissa's phone ring and then heard her bustling around. i assumed that we had both overslept and that school had just called her. she scurried into my bedroom and about that same time i realized that it was only 5:15 am. she was coming in to report the much awaited, secretely anticipated and hoped for day off from school. i couldn't believe it. i my stupor of sleep i was so ecstatic, although my response could have maybe said otherwise. as melissa left my room i proudly proclaimed (much like an 8 year old) "I asked God for this last night!"

our day was spent in the living room watching old episodes of felicity and sitting in our pajamas until about 4:00. yes, that's right 4:00 p.m. it was a beautiful thing. also, i drank coffee nearly all day and both melissa and i ate some of the christmas candy that we still have from students. i talked with my mom that night and she said that the next day was supposed to be even colder -- maybe we would have another day off. another day off, i thought, could it be so? and since we already had monday off for martin luther king jr. i was already thinking about the awesomeness of a five day weekend. could it happen though?

yes, yes it did. friday was another "too cold" day. melissa and i decided to brave the world friday though and go to the gym, and run other various errands. we still got a few episodes of felicity in though.

last night was a sister date. caroline, addie and i went to dinner and then came back to my place and we watched "the princess bride". some good times were had by all and there will be another sister date soon -- stay tuned.

and now i sit at panera on saturday afternoon. smack dab in the middle of my surprise five day weekend. i love my job.

embrace the journey

change happens so quickly and i, being a creature of habit, have a hard time with change at times. yet, lately i have just been reminded that above all i need to just embrace the journey that God has put me on. i am in the place that i am in for a reason -- a purpose.

i am reminded of the story of esther. there she was, in a place of position where she could have an influence to save her people from death. of course, taking action meant she could be facing death herself whereas if she stayed quiet she would be "safe". and yet while communicating with mordecai she receives this response, "do not think that because you are in the king's house you alone of all the Jews will escape. for if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father's family will perish. and who knows but that you have come to royal position for such a time as this?" (Esther 4:13-14) i think this is one of my favorite passages because it says so much. was God going to completely forsake the Jews? of course not -- if esther did not speak out God would have used someone else or saved His people in another way. and yet mordecai drives home his point when he states: "who knows but that you have come to royal position for such a time as this?" basically it was like saying, "hello esther, wake up. do you think that you just 'happened' to become queen? no! God placed you here for a reason -- embrace it. is it going to be tough? sure it will be -- but knowing that you didn't do anything for your people who were in need is going to be harder." i mean, what would have happened had esther not embraced her journey? God placed her there for a purpose. and He did it on purpose.

right now i am excited for everything that is going on and know i too need to embrace the journey God has placed me on. since change can be hard i find myself at times thinking about what was. last year at this time i worked with my three best friends. my other best friend was a little farther away but still in minnesota so i think i found comfort in that fact. and we kept in contact with our other best friend via awesome music videos. things change though. now whitney lives in france (soon to be chicago though), jess moved back to wisconsin, kristen moved to second grade -- yes still at the same school but believe me, the distance from her room to my room has turned out to feel like miles with our busy days. i just spend so much time thinking about how great it was last year and i wish i would have cherished it more. but if i spend so much time trying to "cherish" the past, how can i enjoy the present? even though it is change, i can't be afraid of it.

i take comfort in knowing: "every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows." and so while everything around me may be changing, i need to embrace it because God does not change -- He is my constant. my stronghold.

and so i vow to not live in the what was, the what could be, the what i wish, or the what will be. i will live for the moment. i will enjoy what the Lord has blessed me with today and let tomorrow worry about itself.