learning to be okay

Sometimes it's really overwhelming being a mom. To think that I am responsible for this precious baby. That the decisions I make affect her. That what Derek and I decide today will shape her tomorrow. It's hard. 

And sometimes facebook makes it even harder. 

Being a stay at home mom, I find that when I get a chance to check facebook, it's a bit like socializing. Is that a totally lame thing to say? But really, when Vera goes down for her nap in the afternoon (her really awesome 30-minute nap -- please note sarcasm) I find that sometimes it's nice to just scroll through facebook to see what other people are up to. It can be a really great idea -- maybe someone had a really funny story to share and I laugh about it. Or a cute picture, those are good too. But it can also be an awful idea. 

Inevitably someone else has a baby around Vera's age who is probably potty trained and I suddenly wonder if I should start potty training my 16 month old. Or someone has just finished their 37th Pinterest project of the week and has a million photos documenting the process. And then there are the articles. 

Has anyone else noticed that recently it feels like everyone has an article to share about something they are really passionate about? Or at least something they saw a co-worker post so they assumed they better share the article too and then tag 53 people in it so they all see the article and share it too and suddenly I've scrolled down to find the same article again and again and again. 

I know everyone means well with these. They just want to get the news out to us. There are articles on the dangers of gluten. The dangers of not eating a well balanced diet, especially whole grains. Articles on the benefits of homeschooling. Articles on the benefits of public schools. Articles on the benefits of private schools. Articles about home births and hospital births. Articles on the benefits of co-sleeping. Articles on the dangers of co-sleeping. The list could go on and on. What am I supposed to do? And then the other day I came to a realization. 

I just have to be okay with what I am doing. 

Vera won't be raised on a paleo diet. Or a gluten free diet. Heck, we don't even buy a lot of organic. But she eats good food. She's happy. She's smart. She's on track. And I'm okay with our less than organic lifestyle. 

At this point in time, I'm 99.9% sure Vera will not be homeschooled. I know homeschooling has amazing benefits and I also know my daughter is only 16 months old. But in all honesty, I don't feel called to it right now. This could totally change once we actually begin our journey into school with her.  

Since August, the only way we have gotten Vera to sleep through to morning is to bring her in bed with us. Sometimes she sleeps really well when she gets into bed with us and Derek and I are so thankful we made the decision. Other times she tosses and turns and we hate our lives a little bit because we are so miserable. Yup, it's quite possible we've created a horrible habit that will take a lot of tears to break, but it got us some extra sleep for the last four months so I'm okay with it. 

I was recently talking to a friend about this and she asked a really great question. As I was telling her that I'm just making the decision to be okay with what I'm doing she asked, "But how do you really become okay with everything? How do you not feel the mommy guilt?" And that's a really great question. And I'm not sure I have a really great answer except that I remind myself that everything I am deciding to do is rooted in my love for Vera and my desire for her to grow up with everything she needs. And so sure, an article may come around that basically says to do the opposite of what I am doing. But there is also one that echoes exactly what I'm doing. And if what I'm doing is out of love for Vera, then I'm okay with that. 

 

ugh. this weather.

I'm sure I'm not making a revolutionary statement when I say that I am probably one of the worst bloggers around. I'm working on being more consistent -- we'll see how that goes.

I'll tell you what has been consistent though -- this ridiculous "spring" weather. I'm about to boycott any form of a weather forecast and look out the window each day when I wake up. I'm really tired of watching the little sun forecasted for various days turn to clouds and then, inevitably, to rain. Ugh. I don't ask for much -- it doesn't have to be beach weather at this point, but a little sun would be nice. Needless to say it's been a bit of a trying time. Vera and I have gotten a lot of play inside time which is always fun, but I'd like her to get to know the outside world too. She's a little afraid of grass at this point and I can't really blame her -- the rain makes it really tough to get outside and play in the grass when you are 10 months old. And I may be just the slightest bit nervous too, I guess.

About a month or so ago we took Vera on her first visit to urgent care. The reason? She had a deer tick on her. We had spent the evening before outside (like the one nice day in the last month) and I'm sure that's when I got on her. Having the tick on her didn't seem to bother her at all, it was the removal that didn't sit with her too well. It's so hard to watch your little baby scream and cry and squirm but know that what is happening needs to happen for her well being. It was slightly traumatic for all parties involved. We were there around dinner time and so we just stopped at Wendy's on our way home so I didn't have to make dinner once we got home. Derek and I decided that we should get a frosty that all three of us could share -- because Vera would need a little treat for her rough evening. She of course was just fine once we got home and fed her some carrots and pears. And she loved the frosty. Probably could have eaten the whole thing if we let her.

For the rest of the evening and into the next day I wanted nothing more than to shield Vera from everything. And I mean everything. I didn't want anything to happen to her. I just wanted to keep her inside and safe forever.

But that is so unrealistic.

If I never let her explore, how will she learn? If I never let her fall, how will she learn how to get back up? Bruises, scraped knees, little cuts, band-aids -- those are all a part of growing up. If I deny her those  things it's almost like I am denying her a normal childhood.

But it's hard. It's hard to know that she might fall and get hurt. It's hard when we are on a walk and it gets windy and I know it's blowing on Vera's face. I just want to go and cover her up and make sure the wind doesn't touch her. But then she can't see anything and I'm sure the walk would be no fun anymore.

I'm obviously not going to just let her climb all over the bricks around the fireplace -- some things need to be avoided out of common sense -- but I need to let her explore. I need to let her get out and see the world. I'll be right by her side while she does it all, but I need to let it happen.

And so, if the weather would just cooperate, I think we're ready to play in the back yard and get used to that grass.

on the move

When I first started blogging again my biggest roadblock for writing posts was the fact that I would forget so many of the things that I wanted to blog about. Pregnancy brain hit me and it hit me hard. It carried over to Mommy brain. I have noticed it getting better as the months have gone by though. I'm noticing that I'm forgetting less and remembering more. With that being said, I should be overflowing with blogging ideas. 

Clearly based solely upon the frequency of my posts it's safe to say that something else has gotten into my way now. 

And that something is the cutest little almost 10 month old baby you'll find. 

Vera is crawling around and pulling up on everything and putting everything she can find into her mouth. Needless to say, when she is up, there is no leaving her in a room alone. I used to be able to surround her with a few toys and books and go into the kitchen and put some dishes away or clean something up. Gone are those days. She is on the move and nothing is stopping her. 

And it's fabulous. 

She has turned into such a little person. She hands me books when she wants to read. She turns all the pages for us. We have conversations. We play games. She catches onto things like wildfire. We get to go on walks. She loves to swing. She's just so cute and so much fun. 

There are so many times during a day when something will happen and I think that I should write a blog post about it. But then when she goes down for a nap I find myself doing all the things I wasn't able to do when she was awake -- put dishes away, clean up things from lunch, put toys away, relax, go to the bathroom. And then before I know it, she's awake and my blogging window for the day has closed. 

I'd like to get better at blogging, but I make no promises ;) 

no more colds!

I am hoping that Vera is nearing the end of her last cold for this season. And while I would think I would be pretty safe with that assumption I then look outside at the freshly fallen snow. It's April 12th. Good grief. I need to open the windows and get some fresh air in here. Come on, spring!

I've learned a few things while Vera has been sick this winter. First -- babies don't sleep well when their noses are filled with snot. And since babies don't sleep well, nobody sleeps well. We've had some rough nights at the Harper household. I must say I have an amazing husband who always shares the nighttime duties of getting up with Vera, but there were many mornings when we both woke up just exhausted. Although, I'll confess I know that recently there was a night when we were both so exhausted that I slept through a few of her times waking up and so Derek got up four times and I only got up twice.

Second thing I've learned. Babies have a lot of snot in their noses. If there was a profession of "nose wiping" I would be a really good one. Although the many runny noses have taught Vera to dodge the snot sucker. There was a time when she would let me use the snot sucker on her nose, no problem. Now she does everything she can to avoid it. This results in many used kleenex sitting next to us as we plan on the floor.

Number three -- this is only the beginning. I know we are just at the beginning of Vera getting colds and whatnot. And while it's so hard to watch her struggle with her little stuffy nose, I know she'll be okay. And that leads me to the last thing.

There is only so much I can do. I can wipe her nose. I can put her mattress on an incline. I can turn on her humidifier. I can get her as much rest as possible. But really, a cold is going to run its course. And sometimes all I can do is cuddle her and love her and that's the best medicine there is.

lessons learned

When I first started teaching I remember being overwhelmed with lesson planning and figuring out what I was going to do with my students every day. I started out teaching three different classes -- Oral Communications, 7th grade English and 8th grade English. If you don't know what you are going to do with 28 7th graders for 49 minutes, you will be doomed. :)

Every week I would make the plan for what was to come and we'd make it through and I'd make a new plan. I made notes about what to change and add on the next time and before I knew it, the year was over. The beautiful thing about year number two? I had a rough sketch of what to do. I could look back at the plans from the year before and go with it. This was great considering I was in grad school, coaching volleyball and had added on another class to teach.

By the time last year rolled around, I was a pro. I had a rough idea of what every week would look like months in advance. I still added new things every year, but having one brand new unit after two older ones was no problem. In fact, I like to add on the new things because it kept me fresh as a teacher.

And while I thought my "lesson planning" days were put on hold for awhile, I'm finding the opposite to be true. Being a stay-at-home mom means you are constantly "lesson planning" -- for life. The only thing is, I can't just write down what Vera and I did today and then do the same thing a year from now. Because a year from now she'll be a year older. She probably won't need to practice crawling. She may not be as interested in reading her newspapers. Watching me build towers may not carry the same appeal. And then of course there's the day when we have another baby.

Let's not talk about that quite yet though. ;)

I've realized that I am a much more social person that I thought. I've always loved getting into comfy clothes on a Friday or Saturday night and curling up on the couch to watch a movie. When Derek and I first got married we loved having Saturday mornings to make breakfast and just relax. But what I didn't realize until recently is that during the week I interacted with a lot of people. A LOT. I taught roughly 150 kids a day. I would probably talk to five or six adults at school a day too. I had a lot of time to be around people and have conversations and be social. When weekends rolled around I needed that time to debrief but I didn't realize how much the weeks fueled me until I didn't have them.

I love being home with Vera but if I'm honest, I get lonely. A lot. Adding in seeing kids in the hallways, I used to see 200 people a day, like really see them. Now most days I see 2. And they are, by far, my favorite two people, but one of them isn't quite a conversationalist yet ;) I remember days when I would guzzle water because I was talking so much. Days when my voice would get a little raspy from so much speaking. I talk as much as I can to Vera, but sometimes those one-sided conversations can be tricky.

I didn't anticipate being lonely. I didn't anticipate how much a "no nap day" could completely change my day. I didn't anticipate how much of an adjustment everything would really be. I didn't anticipate how hard it would be to make new friends with other stay-at-home moms. While I learned I'm more social than I thought, I'm still shy at first.

But I guess if we could anticipate everything that would happen then life wouldn't be quite so exciting would it? How would we learn and grow from things if we always knew how they would go?

I'm trying not to get my hopes too high, because I don't want them completely dashed, but I'm really putting a lot of pressure on Spring to get here. I think that the ability to go on more walks and get outside will help change things. I'm going to look into some community ed stuff too -- Eagan has a puppet wagon that travels around each day during the summer. Vera and I might just attend every single show.

Until that snow melts and those puppets start their show I guess I better fill up those lesson books :) As long as Vera and I have at least one thing planned each day we're pretty good. Who wants to hang out with a cute baby (and her mom)?

a year of firsts

I am wrapped up in a year of firsts. Watching Vera grow and change every day is such a joy and is of course filled with new and exciting things. Since July 16th our family has had more "firsts" than we can count:

*Our first time as parents
*Our first sleepless night
*Vera's first vacation
*Vera's first trip to Dairy Queen
*Vera's first smile
*Vera's first laugh
*Vera's first Halloween
*Our first time going on a date without Vera
*Vera's first time sleeping through the night
*Vera's first time rolling over
*Vera's first Thanksgiving
*Vera's first time sitting up
*Vera's first Christmas
*Our first experience with teething
*Vera's first tooth
*Vera's first cold
*My first time getting sick as a mom
*Our first night away from Vera

The list could go on and on. I just love my little daughter :)

But this year has also brought another list of "firsts" for me:

*My first time in 25 years to not go back to school after labor day
*My first time to not have Christmas break
*My first time to not have a snow day
*My first time to not have spring break

Now, I know that all of these are teaching related and I know that they pretty much all relate to breaks from school too. I do understand that I also have had the first time in 7 years that I haven't had to grade 75 4-page research papers. I also understand what a great privilege it is to be home with Vera every day and I would not trade that for anything. But, this week when nearly all of my teacher friends got a snow day I was just slightly jealous because it was the first snow day where it didn't affect me at all. It was just a normal Tuesday for us, folding laundry, doing Tae-Bo and dusting. And now spring breaks start too. I wouldn't say that it was normal for me to go anywhere over spring break, but it at least brought a small change to life. Not this year though.

But this is all okay. Because I am really excited for all the "firsts" yet to come. Our first walk outside in the spring. Our first trip to the playground. Our first time playing in the backyard. Vera's cute little smile, her contagious laughter and her big eyes will trump any snow day.

tae-bo

When I was in high school the Tae-Bo craze began. I remember watching the infomercial one Saturday morning and deciding that Tae-Bo would be the best thing ever and convinced my mom to get it. The four VHS tapes got played a lot in the old VCR and I loved it. I had the regular 28 minute workout nearly memorized. My sisters used to watch me as I worked out with Billy Blanks. It was great.

As I work on exercising again I really would love to use my old Tae-Bo but alas, we do not have a VCR. So what did I do? Found a great deal on a Tae-Bo DVD! It was only $9 and it has 8 10-minute workouts. I was so excited to try this DVD. And it has taught me two things:

Tae-Bo is hard. And I am out of shape.

I know it's been a little while since I have worked out on a regular basis, but seriously, these workouts are hard. I know they are only 10 minutes, but he really packs it in. I have done five of the eight workouts so far and there is at least one thing done in each workout where I stare at the screen for a brief moment in disbelief. They expect me to do that? They want me to punch even faster? I can't kick any harder than that. Nothing has made me feel more out of shape.

But here's the good thing. Every workout I complete makes me believe that next time I can punch a little faster or kick a little harder. It makes me believe that next time maybe I will be able to do sit ups and spin in a circle at the same time. (Yes, that is a real thing)

And because the workouts are only 10 minutes, Vera is able to sit and watch and play while I workout. So great.

who do i call for a sub?

Last week I experienced a first as a mom -- being sick. It was quite a week.

I haven't gotten really sick in years and last Monday I was hit hard with the flu. I spent a lot of time throwing up and in bed (no, I'm not pregnant) and even got a fever which really threw me for a loop. I mean I'm 31, who gets a fever anymore? And the biggest change of being sick now? I can't call a sub and stay in bed all day.

But through all of this I became quite thankful for quite a few things. Of course I have forgotten what some of these things are but I will do my best to remember.

*My husband. Hands down, I have the greatest husband. I called him on Monday to let him know I wasn't feeling well but that I thought I would be okay. I then called him back after I threw up the first time and he came home and took care of Vera and me. He still had to work too and was up until about 10:30 getting his work done. He then worked from home on Tuesday to help as well. And when I came down with a fever on Wednesday he once again took such great care of me. So thankful.

*Netflix. Up to this point Derek and I have been very strict when it comes to Vera and tv. She really hasn't watched any unless it's been a football game or a basketball game ;) And even those have been few and far between. When I got sick on Monday though just the thought of sitting on the floor to play with Vera was way beyond what I could do. And so I went to Netflix. I found a program called Art and Music. Essentially it's a program where you watch people draw things set to music. It seemed pretty safe. And it saved my life.

*Facial muscles. I never realized how many muscles I have in my face and how much they work all the time. Whenever I look at Vera I can't help but smile. When I was sick though, no smile could come. I tried. I desperately wanted to smile at my sweet daughter. But the muscles in my face could no do the work. I am so thankful I have use of these muscles.

*Freezie pops. A fever + freezie pops = fantastic. I normally only have freezie pops during one week of the year. Thankfully we have some and they were in the freezer. I had at least four on Wednesday night and they were magically delicious.

*Turtle bread. My sister works at this restaurant and had brought us a delicious loaf of bread a few weeks back. We had put it in the freezer and just took it out to eat the day before I got sick. There were a few days when all I ate was toast and this loaf of bread was so much more delicious than regular bread.

That's all that comes to mind right now. I wish I could say that I am completely better but I've come down with a cold now as well. This is getting a little out of control but a cold seems like a small ordeal compared to last week.

if it fits...

Remember when it was totally fashionable to wear overalls?

For some reason I am not sleeping right now. It's 10:00 and Vera is in bed and Derek is sleeping and I am awake. I should be sleeping because I am sure Vera will be up in a matter of hours in need of her pacifier and I will have to pull myself out of a sleepy stupor and a warm bed to walk into her room, feel around for her pacifier and put it back in her mouth. But hey, when you just aren't ready to sleep, there is not sense in pushing it, right?

Instead I'm watching a rerun of Friends. It's from the second season. And in this particular episode, Rachel is wearing a really stylish pair of overall shorts. It's crazy to think about how fashion has changed since this show began. But then again, I guess this show started when I was in the 8th grade...it's only natural that things should look a little dated.

The funny thing is that I have a few things in my closet that date back to this show. In fact, I still have my 7th grade volleyball t-shirt. I was just telling Derek tonight that because I don't go shopping for clothes on a regular basis I generally wouldn't consider myself "fashionable". I can make myself quite presentable, but if something still fits, I keep it. Thankfully I've had a few friends who have helped me through this. Right after I graduated college Jess and Lisa helped me out a lot. They basically took things out of my closet that were clearly dated and made me give them away. Then when Melissa and I lived together I feel like her fashion sense rubbed off on me enough that my closet was pretty fashionable too. And now, even though it's been two and a half years since we've lived, my closet still looks pretty much the same as it did then.

Once I lose the last of this baby weight, I will go out and buy something new for the wardrobe. Until then, you can find me in my "Minnehaha Academy 7th grade Volleyball" t-shirt. It's super stylish.

we're "those" parents

We didn't mean for it to happen.

Really, we didn't.

The other night after Vera went to bed, Derek and I sat and looked at pictures and video we had taken of Vera over the last 6 months.

Yup, we are those parents. The ones who look at pictures of their kids when their kids aren't around. And if I'm really honest, I look at pictures of her even when she is around. When she plays independently at night I will show Derek pictures of her that I have taken throughout the day and get all wrapped up in her cuteness all over again.

So if I see you and want to show you a picture and it takes me awhile to find one for you to see, there are a few possibilities of what is going on. 1 -- I am having a hard time picking a picture out because she looks so cute in all of them. 2 -- I'm having a hard time picking a picture because she was moving around a lot so the recent ones are a little blurry. 3 -- I got distracted by an email. 4 -- Someone texted me. 5 -- I got wrapped back up in Vera's cuteness and I'm just looking at all her pictures for my own benefit.

Someday, when I get super "techy", I'll post one of those super cute pictures :)

"stay gold, ponyboy. stay gold."

I loved teaching. For 7 years it filled my days and nights and weekends and summers. Despite what some may think, teachers work far more than a 40 hour work week. (And to all the people who "can't wait" for school to begin again after having their kids home during the summer -- teachers spend 9 months with them :) I've always said that if you go into teaching for the summers "off", you'll never survive. But this is not my point.

For 7 years I taught junior high English. I had a few high school classes in the mix as well -- AP Lit, American Lit and Oral Communications. Junior high was my main focus though. Junior high kids are so great. Seriously. They really are. Sure, they may have had their moments, but don't we all? And not only do I love junior high, teaching English was really the best. At one point I wanted to be a math teacher. Then I was going to be German teacher. By the time I started my second semester of my sophomore year in college I finally decided on English. And I am so glad I did. I got to do so many things with my students: grammar, poetry, plays, speeches, skits, creative writing, research writing, debate, reading. The list could go on and on, those are just the first things that came to mind. I've even benefited from everything. Except maybe one...

For 7 years I have primarily read books written for junior high students. Don't get me wrong, I could be happy reading books written for young adults for a long time. I mean come on, "The Outsiders", "Where the Red Fern Grows", "I am David", "Out of the Dust", "Fever 1793", "The Hunger Games", "Harry Potter". I could go on and on.

But I need to remember that I'm not a young adult anymore, I'm 31. I should probably be able to pick up a novel written for people over the age of 15 and enjoy it, not feel like I am trudging through every page.

And so I begin a new journey. It's funny because while I am trying to challenge myself in my reading I am also becoming reacquainted with picture books. I can already recite a few. My days are spent getting my brain to go between "Big Bird Brings Spring to Sesame Street" and "The Poisonwood Bible". I'll let you know how I keep up.

where does the time go?

I can't believe that Vera is already 6 months old. How did that happen? I feel like we just brought her home and now she's already 6 months old. That's half a year!!!

Those first few weeks were such a blur. I don't think we had any idea what was going on most of the time but we made it through. I stand firm knowing I have the best husband who is such a perfect match for me and the best dad Vera could ever ask for. If it weren't for our great teamwork I don't know what we would have done. And of course, that teamwork continues. But it's different now. A lot of things can be done without even talking about them -- we just know. Of course, I know that as soon as we think we've got it all figured out, Vera will grow and change and we'll start all over ;)

6 months ago I would have wept at the thought of Derek going to work. Seriously. He got a week off after Vera was born. She was born on Monday morning (after a long day of labor on Sunday) and so he had to go back to work the following Monday. Starting on Wednesday I started to cry every time I thought about him being at work. And the crying continued throughout the rest of the week and obviously into the next week. I probably cried a little bit about it for the next two weeks. And then we went on vacation. And then I probably cried some more when we got home.

I don't cry anymore (thank goodness) but it doesn't mean that we miss Derek any less. The weekends are so much fun when we can spend time together as a family. Some days can get a little long, but Vera and I have found a great rhythm too. And she's gotten so much fun. She rolls everywhere, scoots around in circles on her belly, loves playing independently but also loves to interact and play with others, she sits up like a champ and smiles and laughs all the time. She is such a little joy. I can't believe how much she has changed in 6 months. I can't wait to see what the next 6 will bring :)

we've got a talker

Every day brings something new in the life of Vera. Babies change all the time and I am loving all the things that Vera is learning and doing. She's had the typical baby talking noises for some time now, but just recently she's really found her voice.

Last week Vera and I met my mom for lunch. We were meeting at Noodles and Vera and I arrived first. I have noticed that while my natural tendency has always been to sit on the perimeter of the restaurant seating, that tendency increases even more when you have a baby. It's just so much easier to feel like you can explode with all of your things when you are on the outer edge of the restaurant. I scanned the eating area of Noodles. One man was sitting in a booth alone. Alone. No one else was with him. All that space was being wasted. Vera would have liked that booth. (Side note: I did give him the benefit of the doubt and think that maybe someone was joining him. No. No one joined him.) But alas, there was an empty table in the corner with four chairs. That would be nice, I thought. I started walking that way, trying my best to not hit anyone in the head with the large car seat/baby combo I was holding. Unfortunately during my polite trek to the back on the restaurant a woman beat me to the table. A woman who was alone. Seriously people? Maybe I should have suggested she join the man in the booth.

And so, Vera and I plopped down right in the middle of the restaurant. I sat her on a chair and started taking off her winter garb and getting out some toys and trying to keep all of our things as condensed as possible. All the while I felt like everyone was watching every move we made. I guess the positive of the story was that a woman about my mom's age stopped by our table while she was leaving and told us how cute Vera is. There's the positive of being in the middle of the restaurant -- everyone gets to see my adorable baby ;) My adorable, loud baby.

It was while we were sitting in the middle of Noodles that Vera really found her voice. In essence it was like she was yelling, but in a really cute baby way. But yelling nonetheless. I became extremely self-conscious that everyone would start looking at us and my adorable baby. I even tried to shush Vera but then immediately took it back because I didn't want her to think that talking is a bad thing ;) It got to a point though where I had to put her pacifier in because she was being so loud and babies just don't understand what it means to use an "inside" voice. We'll get to that sometime later.

I'm really excited to see how these "yelling" noises turn into words. I just love watching my daughter grow up :)

i forgot...

If you have ever been pregnant or someone close to you has been pregnant you have probably heard of "pregnancy brain"-- a common pregnancy joy :) It is the inability to ever remember anything the same way as you once used to. I remember times when I was pregnant and I would have to get ready in the morning for school and half the battle was trying to remember what I already wore to school that week so that I didn't wear it again. The other half of the battle was to find something that fit and looked like it should be worn by a teacher. I had the typical "walk into a room and not remember what you went in there for" as well. I heard from other moms that it got better after the baby was born but that things "stayed a little foggy" for awhile. For some reason I thought I would be the exception to this rule.

I was not.

I still forget things ALL THE TIME. And now I'm losing things too. Just yesterday (was it only yesterday?) I went to find my car keys. They were nowhere. I texted Derek and hoped he would say that he had taken them by mistake. Nope. I looked in my coat pockets, the hook where they normally go, my purse, Vera's diaper bag, the kitchen island, the kitchen counter, the kitchen table. I checked in my car -- the ignition, the front seat and the back seat. Nothing. I didn't think to check inside of Derek's shoe. (Obviously that's where they were otherwise I wouldn't have mentioned that...)

And even as I type this I have a feeling I may have already written something on here about forgetting things...is that possible? I would write about all the things I forgot during the week surrounding Christmas but I have a feeling I've already done that...I guess I'll have to check later. Good grief.

Oh, wait. It just came to my mind. Yup, I have written about this already. Well, thanks for sticking with this post if you are still reading. Clearly this is a big issue for me these days. On a helpful note, Derek got me a planner for Christmas. It's being put to good use.

Now if it could only keep track of my keys.

baby bullet = fantastic!

So first let me start out by saying that I sat down to write a blog post and nearly finished a whole post and decided I didn't really like it so I deleted the whole thing and started over. I just wasn't grooving with the other post and then I realized that I haven't had a chance to write about something that has changed my life.

The baby bullet.

You may be familiar with the magic bullet -- it makes smoothies, guacamole and most famously, fresh salsa. If you have no idea what I am talking about then navigate your way to youtube and look up the infomercial for the magic bullet. I'm sorry if you immediately want one, but that's perfectly normal.

I think it was the New Life auction of 2008 or 2009 that I got my magic bullet. As the auction approached I told Melissa that I would consider getting something if we walked in and there was a really awesome item. And sure enough, we walked into the gym and there was the magic bullet. I was pretty psyched. I can't remember how much I paid for it -- I'm sure it was about $10 more than if I would have gotten it at a store (although I'm not sure they were sold at stores yet) but it was worth every penny! The pictures used to capture that time are priceless. We made lots of good things in the magic bullet -- whipped cream, iced coffee, sorbet, smoothies. Then we tried to salsa. It did not turn out the way the infomercial let me to believe. Shortly after our salsa smoothie (yes, it was the consistency of a smoothie, nobody wants that) the magic bullet started to gather dust. We would still break it out once in awhile but it didn't get used nearly as much as it used to.

But now there is a new household appliance that it changing my life -- the baby bullet. It looks a lot like the magic bullet but it has little cute smiley faces on all of the cups and everything and comes with the cutest little spatula you have ever seen. And as the name might just imply, it's for baby food. I am LOVING making Vera food. Yes, it takes some time but I honestly look forward to it and I have so much fun with it. So far I have made her pears, bananas, avocados and sweet potatoes. She loves it all and I love seeing her try all of these new foods. I'm hoping that by exposing her to a lot of different foods now that she will like all of them as she gets older too, we'll see how that goes ;)

I'm wondering if I should alert the makers of magic bullet and the baby bullet to this blog post, I am after all heavily endorsing their products -- with the exception of that salsa smoothie.