a confession

I have a confession to make. I think I may be cheating. On Thanksgiving.

I have always held strong to the belief that Christmas excitement begins AFTER Thanksgiving. I have always gotten so frustrated at stores for bringing out their Christmas decorations before Thanksgiving (and this year even before Halloween was over? Come on!) I try not to listen to Christmas music before Thanksgiving because I feel like it makes Thanksgiving less grand. I've always been the "It's December 15th, what are we getting people for gifts?" kind of person. Not that I don't love buying things for people. It's just that times get away from me. And if I'm honest, I also have something I like to call "gift giving anxiety" -- more on that another day. And certainly, I have never once thought about decorating for Christmas until December.

But not this year.

Right now Christmas music is on, as it has been since late last week, in our house. I have already purchased Christmas gifts and today I might even get them wrapped. I almost suggested that we decorate for Christmas on Sunday -- no, not the Sunday coming up, the one two days ago. I can't wait to decorate this weekend. We are making a whole day of it on Saturday and I am so excited.

But I still can't help but feel like I am cheating on Thanksgiving. Despite all my excitement for Christmas this year, Thanksgiving is still my favorite holiday. Why? I think because it's the one holiday that is just that, a holiday. There aren't any presents to buy, there is no schedule to the day, there are no fireworks to get to, it's just  a day for good old fashioned family time. It's also the only holiday that my entire Royce side of the family still gets together and there is something really special about that. I remember growing up and heading out to Grandma Royce's house for Thanksgiving. We would get there and all the tables would be set up and ready to go. Of course I would be at a kids' table but I don't think I ever minded -- we cousins wanted to be together. We would play school in the porch and when we got older my cousins Heidi and Sarah and I would bring our band instruments (oboe, clarinet and flute) and perform concerts for the family. Yes, we were that family.

There was always the Thanksgiving day walk too -- a loved tradition. We would walk down the dirt country roads, all bundled up, kicking rocks or checking to see if the creek had frozen over yet. Of course there were some years when the water wasn't even near freezing and then there was the time when a few people fell into the water. Nothing was ever dull. We would get back to Grandma's just in time to eat pie. Grandma would help us get everything we needed. She was the best. Simply the best. After eating pie and playing some games there would be the inevitable plate of leftovers from the large afternoon meal. Grandma always made sure everyone had what they needed.

Those memories of Thanksgiving will always stay with me. And maybe that's why Thanksgiving is so special to me. Sure, I love the turkey and the stuffing and the pumpkin pie. I love seeing my relatives and telling old stories and talking about new endeavors. I love the traditional Thanksgiving day walk. But I just really love what the day offers -- a chance to just be with family.

We now have Thanksgiving at my dad's but a lot of things are the same. When we get there all the tables are set up and ready to go. I still don't mind if I am at a kids' table. We no longer have any post dinner concerts -- although maybe someday Vera and Laney can play some instruments ;) We still go on the walk -- not down a dirt road, but next to the Minnehaha Creek. And although Grandma is no longer with us, I know she sees us every Thanksgiving and smiles.

With all that being said, you can guess how I might have felt when I realized I was cheating on Thanksgiving. But I think I've realized I can be excited for both. My dad and I have said for years that there needs to be some Thanksgiving music. If we can get that CD out then maybe next year I won't run into this problem.