I have learned a lot in my four and a half short months of being a mom. I've learned I can spend Vera's entire nap just staring at her. I've learned there is no such thing as a "quick trip" anywhere anymore. I've learned how to do a lot of things carrying Vera around with me (like writing this post).
And no matter how many times Vera reminds me, I always seem to forget this -- that no matter what my to-do list may look like when we get up in the morning, there's a pretty good chance that Vera's to-do list is not the same.
Take yesterday for example. I had grand plans of going to the grocery store and Michael's. Of working on Vera's homemade gifts. Of cleaning the bathrooms. You know, really glamorous things. What did I actually do? I sat on the couch and held Vera while she napped. She wanted nothing more than to be held while she napped. And when she was awake? She wanted nothing more than to be held. I did eventually embrace the day as it was and was able to enjoy the extended time just cuddling with my daughter but for a little bit of time I was really feeling like it was throwing a wrench into my day. And even as I type that "throwing a wrench into my day" I realize how silly it is. In a short time she will be too big to cuddle as she naps and I need to cherish these days as they come.
Today has turned into an impromptu laundry day. I've gotten into the habit of feeding Vera in my bed in the morning. It's just so much easier to go into her room to get her and change her and then climb back into bed. Anyway, she was eating this morning just like usual and then it was time to burp her. I try to really pay attention to her when I do this because there have been times when she spits up and it goes everywhere. Can you guess what kind of morning it was today? Yup, suddenly she burps and out the spit up comes and I felt it run down my back and pool on the sheets. Is it gross that I didn't move? I mean she still had to finish eating, so there we sat. Go ahead, be grossed out. Laundry has now been added to today's to-do list (or is it yesterday's to-do list?).
One of the most important things I learned as a teacher was to not be disappointed when I didn't get to everything in a single lesson. Or to not be caught off guard if I got through everything and still had 20 minutes left. It was all about being flexible and knowing what my students needed. I need to remember this more now. I have such a gift to be able to be home with Vera and I need to enjoy every day of it. I know that each day will bring its joys and challenges, but I can't be so preoccupied with a to-do list that I don't truly enjoy it all.
After all, to-do lists should just be suggestions for our days, not requirements.
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