wait. what?

I had a realization today.

I was holding Vera as she dozed off for a nap this afternoon and I was just thinking about how blessed I am. I thought back to last year at this time. I was well into my second week of "morning" sickness and wondering how I would make it to July. Vera was already making her place known in our family ;) And now today I get to sit and hold her while she sleeps. It's just so wonderful. I started to think about all the wonderful things that have happened in the last year and that's when I had this realization:

I am closer to 40 than 20.

What? How is that possible?

I finally celebrated my golden birthday this year. I know, golden birthdays really peak while you are in grade school, they lose a little luster once you reach adulthood. But, on October 31st I turned 31-- a birthday I remember feeling so far away when I turned 7 and other friends were celebrating golden birthdays.

But here's what happened -- hidden under the premise of "golden birthday" I turned 31. I know I'm sounding redundant, but hear me out. With all of the excitement I still carried for this birthday, I moved closer to 40 without even realizing it. I mean I still remember high school so vividly and college feels like just last year. How can I be closer to 40 than 20? I know I am obviously not that far from 29, but you get my point.

Once the initial shock was over, I realized that I'm really okay with being only 9 years away from 40 (ask me about this again in about 8 1/2 years). Don't get me wrong, I loved my 20's. But I'm loving my 30's. A lot. I love being a wife and a mom. There is always something to be done and there are no vacations or sick days (I'm really kicking myself now for leaving New Life with 18 unused sick days...). But I wouldn't trade it for anything.

31 is going to be a great year. I can just feel it.