you cried when?

Growing up I was never one to cry during movies or TV shows. I would get wrapped up into the characters' lives and all, it just didn't move me to tears. Wait a second, I take that back, I did cry at the end of Titanic -- all six times that I saw it in the theater. That was pretty much it though.

Then I became a mom. And now I cry. All the time. 

During a Hallmark made for TV movie? Check. While reading novels? Check. During EVERY episode of Parenthood? Who wouldn't? While reading non-fiction? Check. While reading children's books? Check. During the opening sequence of "The Lion King"? Check. During a commercial that aired during the Olympics featuring Kerri Strugg's courageous vault? Double check. During the 4th of July parade when a float goes by playing "Proud to be an American"? I wept. During Sesame Street Live? Check. 

Yes, you read that correctly. I cried during Sesame Street Live. 

We took Vera to Sesame Street Live last night. My brother and sister-in-law came along as well with their daughter, Laney. Laney and Vera are best friends. Laney is 10 months older and they just love each other. I was so excited to see the girls' reactions when they saw Sesame Street characters up on stage. (Vera just refers to them as her friends). 

We met at the theater and got into our seats about three minutes before the show started -- ideal timing when you are there with two toddlers. As the lights dimmed I got so excited to watch their faces. Suddenly the stage was filled with everyone -- Bert, Ernie, Cookie Monster, Grover, Big Bird, Elmo. I looked at Vera and while she was a little overwhelmed, I could also tell that she couldn't quite believe it. And then I started tearing up. 

As my eyes pooled with tears I also started laughing, because come on, who cries at Sesame Street Live? Thankfully the laughter finally won out and no tears were actually shed, but this really brought things to a new level. When I told Derek about it on the way home - because let's be honest, I decided it best to share this news later, lest I start crying again - he asked if I was pregnant. Let me assure you, I am not. And obviously he knew that too, but it seemed like the only logical reason. 

I don't know, maybe it's growing older or maybe it's just being a mom. Whatever it is, I tend to cry a lot more now. And I think last night I was just overcome with the fact that Vera loves "her friends" and we were seeing them in person. So many things I do these days are for my children, and I'm okay with that. Don't worry, Derek and I still do things for each other, but I get so excited to do things that will bring joy for our girls. Guess what Vera got from Santa this year. Ice cream. That's what she asked for. We had a ribbon in her stocking and it lead all the way to the freezer. She was ecstatic. And it could take me much less time to bake anything if I did it alone. But Vera loves to help. When Vera's face lights up because of something we are doing, it just warms my soul. When she continues to say over and over again "I'm so excited" about something, it makes me excited too. And while I want to teach our girls that life does not revolve around them and that they don't get everything they want, I want to create memories with them. I want to share in those memories and watch their faces the entire time. And sometimes, that means I'm going to cry. 

So if I don't know you but someday you head to a story time at the library and a mom is there with her two kids and she's crying at the end of "Chicka Chicka Boom Boom" there's a good chance it's me. Hand me a kleenex and say hi.